there was so much I wanted to be and do and ironically the things I have become weren't necessarily items on my list to become.  I have the opportunity to marry right now and I could have the house, someone to provide for me and the children, someon who loves me, but I hesitate as I still feel like there is something missing.  How does one find what is missing? Therefore, I feel lost a lot. As if I am perpetuating my own limbo.