Birthday

As many of you know, tomorrow is my birthday.  At it falls on a Sunday, that limits a lot of celebration opportunities as my worship comes first, so today is my birthday celebration.  To be honest birthdays have never meant much to me and the least years, pretty much non-existent.  This year, especially do the last year of my life challenge, I wanted to take some time and celebrate me.  I started the day by attending the temple with my mother.  It meant a lot that she agreed to go on a busy Saturday as she knew that is what I really wanted to do.  Then I made a cake for a family friend who is struggling with his health.  I delivering that cake and look and got to go to dinner tonight with Josh, who surprised me by asking me to go with him to the Melting Pot.  He had rose petals waiting for me on the table and of course dinner was amazing! Although today is not technically my birthday, I think it is the best one I have had in at least seven years.  I never realized how much I relied on others to make me happy and am grateful that I am finally being proactive with what I want and need!  Happy Birthday to me!!!

Practice

Thursday we are to bring to class a cake, filling and icing we made and we are going to frost our first cake.  I however, wanted to practice sooner than Thursday so this is my very first cake (unassisted)

First Class

I had my first cake decorating class tonight and I had to much fun.  I am so excited about all I have already learned, all I will be learning and the opportunity to do this!  Tonight was very basic (as you will see by my pictures) we went over the correct way to make a cake, and frosting.  How to fill and frost a cake and how to use the tools for cake decorating.  We then practiced on correctly making the star with a tip (that's is what all the pictures are of) Please forgive the large askew star, it is horrendous, but the point is the way it is frosted not the shape, at least not yet :)  Next week I bake, fill and frost my first cake.  I am so excited and on a plus side, the more I practice and the more cakes I have, the more cakes I can give to those who might need a little sweetness in their lives.  Ok enough talking, here is what I accomplished tonight:

Would love input/interpretations!

The dream starts off in some large grand hallway.  I am standing with my friend talking to him (I will call him Bob) Bob starts to wrap his arms around me but I pull away at first, and then lean into him and cry.  The next thing I know he is leaning in for a kiss and although I want to be kissed, I know I shouldn’t.  He kisses me on the face, but right on the corner of my mouth so that he does not actually touch my lips.  I feel the kiss is perfect and just what I needed.  Then all of the sudden I am in a gift shop and I notice everything is in German and then instantly remember I am in Germany.  I want to purchase something from this gift shop though so I start looking for something in English and find church materials from BYU-I there for purchase.  I was excited at having found this, so I run into the hall to tell my mom and find that I am in this enormous museum/palace/shop.  She didn’t seem to care about my finding as she was so enthralled at the piece she was looking at on exhibit.  I go back into the shop and Bob is by my side again.  Then all of the sudden this teenager starts screaming and chasing me, I only realize why when I pass a sigh posting my celebrity status for my exceptional singing of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  All of the sudden there is a huge crowd chasing Bob and I.  Then the scene changes and I am driving away.  Bob is now replaced with another friend: Ryan.  We are driving fast, but somehow the paparazzi keep catching up.  Then the dream goes to third person and I watch as I transport from one vehicle to another.  The more I suddenly vanish and reappear in another car, the easier it became that watching myself in the dream, I had a hard time keeping up with where I was at as I looked at the long stream of traffic.  Then I woke up.

A Short Dream

 I am out in some farm field, kind of close to the main house and I am looking down on myself and three other buildings beside the mail house, like a barn, a tool shed, etc.  All the sudden there are incoming rockets and I know I will be safe if I stay where I am and I watch as all the building but the house I am next to collapse, explode and catch fire.  Then I am talking to my dad/Josh who are the same person put together somehow talking about the war and how we need to leave for our own safety.  The next thing I know I am surfing some sort of wave, watching as it curls over me and I am in the tunnel before it crashes over me, and the next thing I know I am back in the same farm field telling my dad/Josh how I survived a tsunami and how we should stay here in the field as it is now some sort of safe haven.

Day One!

 

 

Okay, so as you know today is day one of the last year of my life challenge.  I figured I would start off with some pictures.  To be honest, I am disgusted with the way I look (even semi dressed up), but then again that is the whole point of this challenge.  I can only hope it goes up from here. Here is a short list of things I would like to accomplish this year:

Start my own Bunco group

lose weight (short term 20 lbs...long term 40 lbs)

continue to read my scriptures daily

be more confident in myself despite my circumstances

 

 

The first day to the last year of my life

OK, so I know it has been a while since I posted.  I am in fact, still alive.  A lot of why I have not been posting is due to the fact that essentially, everything is still the same and I am sure everyone, including myself, were getting sick of the same type of negative blog.  So I have taken a step back and am reinventing myself.  Starting Monday July 8^th, I will be starting the last year of my life challenge by Clint Arthur.  If you have never heard of this, then I suggest looking it up or follow along with me through my experience.  Basically I will be living this next year as if it were my last (within reason of course as I am the type of person to blow all my money and go travel the world or something).  There are a couple on concept that although common sense, I have never done as for me it seemed too difficult, or there were other things in my life to take precedence.  However, this next year will be about me.  For starters, and this one will be a challenge for me, I am to dress everyday as if I were going to a job interview.  Well I am a mom to two very young kids and have self esteem issues that prevent me from spending money on an outfit when I know I will still dislike the way I look, that typically my uniform includes a pair of comfy (and ill looking) pair of shorts, a baggy T-shirt, and a bun.  However, starting Monday this uniform will change.

I have also set the goal, not to work out every day, but to walk and be active; hopefully by the end of the year I will be “working out” on a day to day basis.  Note: the goal is not to lose weight, but to be healthy.  I want to also try and make a goal of taking a picture once a month to see if there is a noticeable change in my weight, posture, happiness, etc

I also plan on trying to be more aware of my dreams, and when/if I remember a dream on waking I will also make my blog my dream journal.  I am hoping all of this combined will help with the depression I feel as well as give me more control in my life as I start over.