On the marital front

I have had several people ask for an update with how Josh and I are doing so here it is: we are about the same.  Not much has changed since the last updates.  He is continuing to see a psychologist, which has been helping him see where his self hate comes from, but it is a very slow process.  Until Josh is able to be comfortable with himself I cannot really resolve our issues as he takes all the blame and creates a reality where my life and my children’s life are better without him; a scenario I obviously don’t agree with or I wouldn’t still be here.  There will be several days where I feel like he is really making an effort and our relationship id finally on the mend, and then there will be several days of the same things that have been plaguing our marriage.  In essence, it is still a lot of up and down, but it is something we are both trying to repair, so I feel that’s as much as I can ask for or expect at the moment.  I know it upsets him when I try and point out the selfishness he had been exhibiting and I feel that has really improved, especially as the date for my delivery grows near, it is nice to have him put me and the baby first in our needs, which really wasn’t the case several months ago.  So as I mentioned there is progress, but it is slow, but working.  I look forward to the day where I feel like I have the man I married back and that we can once again be a team in all we think and do, or at least have the tools to be comfortable with where the other is at that we can continue to learn and grow together.