Crying. Just crying,
overwhelmed as usual. A grumpy, angry
husband all weekend, a sick two year old and for the last three hours straight,
a screaming infant. I am empty. So empty. Do people see my emptiness? Can they feel my emptiness, my crumbling
outside shell? Lately I have more bad
days than good. Am I losing hope? Am I just as depressed as I claim my husband
to be? Am I just not strong enough?
“This too shall pass”
I just didn’t realize that sometimes it takes an entire lifetime before
the trial passes. What progress am I
making when I give away more than I receive?
But may the Lord bless you sweet souls so do fill me with what you
do. By letting me vent and expose my emptiness. By giving me hugs and whispering words of
encouragement and validation. By
recognizing how difficult life is for me at the moment because even though
there is no fuel left, I somehow am inching along as you pull me in your
support.
The screaming infant is finally asleep and the rambunctious
two year old concerned for his mothers tears brought me his used tissues
prompting me to “wipe, wipe” and patting my back in consolation. I guess I can make it through today. I guess I can.
Cherish, this time of year seems to exacerbate the normal low feelings. The dreary weather and lack if sunshine strengthens depression. My heart goes out to you! Raising kids is hard, especially when you have an unhappy child at length. I hope she isn't still suffering today. I think of you frequently and I'm sorry life is getting tougher. (((((hugs))))) make sure you take time for yourself on a regular basis, it's important to fill yourself so you can keep going. There's a chair massage place near the theatre in the mall you can just drop in at. I wish I had more to offer you, I love you.
ReplyDeletethanks Laura, today was better than the last and I hope they continue to be that way.
DeleteGlad to hear that!
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