Day

I almost had to take Amellia to the ER today.  since she woke up, until 2:00 PM Amellia was vomiting consistently.  She couldn't even keep water down and the poor thing was constantly throwing up the bile in her stomach.  It has been a while since I have been that scared.  She was white as a sheet, and would only allow me to hold her for hours on end as she napped and cried and vomited all over my shoulder. I began calling her pediatrician noon, knowing she was not getting any liquids, meaning she was getting dehydrated.  I tried it all, until finally at 1:30 she began sipping water and was able to keep it down. Her pediatrician called back at three and agreed I had done things right and if she returned to her prior state then I would need to take her into the ER to get fluids. It has been a horribly long, exhausting day.  I have given all my strength and emotion to take care of Amellia and as I mentioned, I was terrified.  I have never before seen my little girl sick like this before.
Trying to be a responsible parent, I made sure to call and text Josh, keeping him updated on everything that was going on.  Enraged and devastated are words that don't even cover the extent of the emotions I felt as I got little texts like I am so sorry or comments like, "well I wish I could watch Dorian so you could take her to the hospital, but the roads are getting worse by the minute and I need to head home."
Remember how enraged he was when I made the comment that he walked away from his children when he left our family for his mistress and her child?  How then can this be justified as anything but walking away?  I literally held my daughter for seven hours straight today. calming, soothing, bathing, loving her and where was he?  Did he even so much as show up to check on his terribly sick 15 month old daughter? NO!
So here is my point.  The truth hurts.  If you are going to make the actions, you can at least have the respect to label it as it is.  Today, once again, you put yourself and your priorities as more important than your 15 mo. old daughter's needs.  You walked away five months ago and you still choose to walk away on almost a daily basis. *end rant*
sorry for that, but today was a a day from hell and I needed to get it out of my heart.