My latest Ah Ha moment while reading my scriptures

So, for those of you who read my blog and are not LDS, here is a little background.  We believe that we are eternal beings in the sense that God created and gave an image to our spirits (and bodies) but that are intelligence was not created but always present (ie, eternal) and we believe that our time here on earth is a probationary state where we are given hardships and obstacles to try our faith and allow us to choose and come to God of our own volition through the covenants we make here on earth and the patience and endurance in keeping the covenants and commandments we made with God.  We believe that after we are resurrected we will be judged by our own works and put in a degree of glory where we will be the most comfortable.  We believe there are three degrees of glory and outer darkness (hell). We believe that if one reaches the highest degree of glory (an opportunity given to every individual) then they have met their birthright as God's children and available to inherit the blessings of their father in becoming like him, Gods and Goddesses of their own accord, bound by the same laws of truth, charity, justice, etc that God follows.

Well here was my ah ha moment that as somewhat humbling as well.  I was thinking what it would be like to live again with my Heavenly Father and with my brother, Jesus Christ and how I would feel eternally indebted to my Lord for his sacrifice in being a mediator for me to return home to my Father.  Being of a carnal (and therefore selfish mindset) I was thinking how my Lord would always hold a higher realm of respect and blessings as he accomplished here on earth what no one else could, but that lead me to question what I know about Eternal glory.  If I am to be considered an equal to my Lord and Father, then I will be an equal.  Meaning while I can still be respectful, reverent and praising of the sacrifice and love given to me, I in turn will be an equal with extreme divinity.  This lead to the thought that it didn't seem fair someone like Jesus Christ who endured more during this earth life than any other person ever had to endure would be considered my equal when what I have gone through, while difficult, is nothing in comparison to the trials and sacrifice he endured.  Then this thought came to me of the parable of the servants given talents.  One man received 1, another 2, and the last 5.  We are given the responsibility of a load based on what we are capable of handling.  The more capable we are, the more responsibility we are given (as seen in the parable with the servant who was given 5 talents, then that of the 1 who squandered his), but look at the servant who was given 2.  Just as the 5 was doubled, so did the servant with 2 double his. 

Here is my Ah-Ha moment.  likening this parable to me: Jesus was the servant with 5 talents, taking on the responsibility he could carry, and while I carry 2 and not 5, I am still just as diligent in trying to make my master happy by increasing what he has given me rather than  squander it as the 1 did.  This all goes full circle for me as I think back to all the learning I have received on the love God bestows on each of us.  He entire purpose of sending us to earth, allowing us the opportunity to grow is to the end, live with him again.  He is our Father and we his children and has set up the church in a way that we may all operate to the best of our ability, carrying  and magnifying the talents we are given to not only get ourselves to our divine birthright, but to help our fellow brothers and sisters (humanity) in achieving that very goal with us. 

This truth that I stumbled upon exemplifies the very essence of God's love.  God is never the one to tempt us, our carnal bodies pull us to temptation, God grants us spiritual gifts and guidance to overcome these temptations.  Only love and God, and when we are judged it is based on our own works rather than the wrath of an angry God.  He is bound by justice to hold us to our choices, but has also given us he own son to act as the law of mercy in allowing us to atone of our sins through the perfected sacrifice our Lord gave to us.

I love my church, in that I know who I am and why I am here.  I love my church as I know I am an eternal being as I strive daily to reach that potential.  I love my church as I am given an opportunity to be forgiven for my many mistakes and sins as I am no where near a perfect person.  I love my church as I know the God I worship is a kind, loving Father who desires my presence in living with him as we work together as a unit in and through God to be restored to our natural and divine birthright.

Last day of week A

Preschool this week was so much fun for me and for the children.  Here is what we did on our last day:


We began school tracing once again the letter A, which my stud has down without any guidance at this point. We then moved on to our acorn poem

After I read the poem, my son went through and circled all the A's he could find

We then made our own 5 little acorns and spent some time practicing counting to five

 

We had an awesome adventure with A week and are excited for the letter B!

Week A, day 3 and 4

didn't have a chance to post yesterday so here are the activities we did both yesterday and today as we continue learning about the letter A!

We went on ant adventure.  With my son's magnifying glass in hand he found all the ants and caught them using the magic word: a, a, ant! He really enjoyed this activity.

 

 

 My son finding an ant :)

somehow I managed to miss getting a picture of our memory game using A animals including: aardvark, armadillo, alligator and antelope.  Just let me know if you are interested and I can email a copy to anyone who want to use it for their kid(s).


Today we once again practiced out tracing the letter A and then played pin the arms on Amellia

 

 My son enjoyed seeing his sister and putting on her arms

 Miss Amellia

 We then painted airplanes!

One more activity tomorrow and we will be done with A, what a fun week

 

Week A, Day 2

Later on, I will probably only post Preschool stuff once a week, but as we are all very excited about it, here is what day 2 was like for us as we continued our focus on letter A

Dorian got up from quit time to find this.  He had to follow the arrows to a special A treat. with every arrow he picked up he had to say a, a, arrow.

 

 

 

 

 The arrows were fun for both kids

 

Our special A treat was applesauce and apple pie!

 

 

 We practiced writing our A again on our a, a, apples

And then got to place our A apples on our very own apple tree!

 

We then went outside to our real apple tree and each picked an apple

 

Last, but not least, we used out dollar store bow and arrows to shoot our apples!

 

LOL, this was my son's favorite activity of the day!

 

My son is loving preschool and the letter A!

 

 

Preschool! Week A, day 1

Rather than pay for pre school, or go through the hassle of applying for financial assistance, I have decided to do my own at home pre school.  I have spent several weeks in prep work, going through my kids toys to see what they had and supplementing our learning activities with items from the dollar store. We started today (based on a more Montessori style as that is how my son learns the best) and it was a big success! Of course, my one year old wanted to participate too and I had many the proud mommy moment as you see our activities below!

We started off with A the alligator.  My son had fun reading the story again and shaking his fists like he was angry

 

Following the story, my son did finger painting to make the ants that stole the alligator's apple, I hade him say A, a, a every time he made a new ant

 

 

The Dry erase bored I got from the dollar store

 

 This helped him see the shape of the letter as he tried to make it by himself

Since we read the story about A the alligator, we thought we would make an alligator out of the letter A!

My daughter enjoyed the alligator stickers we had so she could participate as well

 My son placed his alligator stickers and practiced writing A, I was very impressed how quickly he was able to do this.  Not bad for a 3 year old!

Last, but not least, we had our Alligator eat apples.  The kids had a blast and I was impressed with what they retained. :) Looking forward to tomorrow's A activities! If anyone in my area is interested in joining us, you are welcome.  Just contact me!

 

 

Chance

His hand slid though her curls, and while she longed for the touch , she too was timid about what this touch meant.
Quiet.  She hissed to herself, closing her eyes as if he could see the muddled debate taking place in her head.
     "I love you." He whispered.
     "I love you too." She replied instinctively, wondering if she should doubt the words that were falling out of her mouth.
She felt his lips press softly against her jaw bone, then her cheek; she knew her lips were next and waited, eyes closed, for their impact.
When his lips met hers, she felt the soft flutters of her heart: excitement and love deep inside.  Letting go of her thoughts she wrapped her arms around him and his kiss; giving in and taking a chance.

As parents, when we punish our kids, we punish ourselves

                I have been speaking with several friends lately how motherhood is so more difficult in today’s day and age than it was in out parent’s lifetime.  Growing up during my childhood, it was perfectly acceptable to play outside in the yard and street (as long as we were watchful and diligent) and even allowed to go to the neighbors houses unattended as long as my mother knew where we were.  My mom confided that she took times like these to catch up on cleaning, cook dinner and other chores that are virtually impossible with little one clamoring about for attention.  During my mother’s childhood she was allowed to be gone the entire day out in the woods behind her house all by herself with absolutely no supervision other than her dog to warn her of snakes. Sadly, I recently read an article where a mom was arrested and charged with neglect for allowing her children to play in her yard while she remained in the house.  We, as mothers of this generation, do not have the same access to personal or alone time that moms before us had.  I think that is why we have seen a dramatic shift in parenting styles as moms of this generation try to adapt.  With the scary world of abductions, sex offenders and all sort of other dangerous calamities that are growing ever more present we must constantly have our children in our care and have their safety on our mind.  Despite this change in needed attention, society still expects us to maintain house, cook meals, contribute what we can financially, and raise our children and to do so with limited electronics and TV time.  It is so easy to get caught up in the whole hustle and bustle of things I know I start to wonder if this is even possible.  More and more often I find myself turning on a show to clean up the mess from breakfast, another one to clean up the mess from lunch and find myself handing out ipads and nooks to just get twenty minutes of down time so I don’t turn into the screaming raging woman I feel like as my two and four year old have been pulling on my leg, using me as a jungle gym and expecting me to stimulate them for the entirety of the day. I think electronics have become such a crutch as for us it is a reliable option to replace the unsupervised free play children very rarely have the opportunity to safely receive.  The emotional and physical demands of a mother are increased and as a survival aspect many of us are guilty of the ipad use, the fast food dinners and blamed for rowdy kids. 

                In consequence I have also noticed that due to this higher level of demands on moms we wear out faster.  I have seen and talked with many moms who are downright exhausted and when a child misbehaves, they let the act go unpunished as they didn’t have it in them to fight the kids on his or her punishment.  This is so true too.  When a child misbehaves, I punish my child with a consequence that matches the misdemeanor.  If my four year old can’t share his toy with his sister, then the toy is removed.  Inevitably, what results? A temper tantrum, a begging for the toy and then a wailing of my unjust action.  After a long talk, hugs and kisses the child realizes the misdemeanor, apologizes to me and his sister for the offence and has the clarity of mind to choose another toy, but it is a process.  In essence, when I punish my child, really, I am only punishing myself.  Personally, I know for myself the importance of consistency and have seen how fundamental such punishments and consistency of rules leads to their understanding and good behavior, but it is a struggle. 

                So what is the point of this explanation of the modern day mom?  The point is this.  You, mom, are heard.  I totally understand how you feel and what you are going through.  You are doing just fine.  My theory is this: I get the chance to attempt to be the best mom I can each and every day.  I don’t always succeed, but you know what, it is still something I try for every day and in that I have no regrets.  Yes, some days I have a shorter temper.  Some days I am not as consistent as I should be.  I am guilty of having an entire day of just watch “Bo on the Go” and “Phineas and Ferb” but I know as long as I am trying, then I am a good mom.  You are a good mom or are married or dating a good mom.  In today’s society there seems to be less privacy and somehow our lives are public knowledge, that we are faced with more judgment and comments on who or what is expected out of us and so I say this: we as mothers, all different in out stages of life, number of kids, etc, are in fact all one.  Our goals are the same: to raise healthy, happy children who can stand on their own, so let’s work together in supporting each other as we struggle through each diapers change, broken toy, and refused meal to eat.  So here is what I am hoping you will do.  Either comment here on the blog or on my link to Facebook (tag the person if you would like) with a woman you think is an awesome mom and why. There are too many things in this life to disagree upon, but let’s as mother unify in our struggle to survive the day as we cherish it in our hearts.

Army

Thank you all for your patience,  I know I have been bad about posting on a regular basis, but have been feeling like there are things I need to write out, so here we go :)
As you know, five, almost six years ago Josh was unemployed for several months when he approached me with the idea of him joining the Army.  From the start it was something I was very against.  My sister, in her first marriage, married a marine and encountered several issues with military that eventually led to their divorce, all culminating in the fact that the man she married had been changed to someone unrecognizable to her through his military service.  Having seen the deterioration of her marriage I was very fearful, but Josh was persistent.  I shared all my fears, and over and over he promised he would never change and over and over he voiced how this choice felt right for him.  I reluctantly did research and went with him to talk to a recruiter, but none of my fears were eased.  As I always do with big decisions, I got down on my knees and pleaded for guidance as I felt the choice Josh wanted to make was a wrong one.  Days later, while doing my daily scripture reading, a voice entered my mind saying that Josh joining the Army was Josh's mission.  My heart was softened and I knew in my heart the Army was in fact the choice we were being led to.  I was still very fearful, but had faith in the guidance I was given.  The four years I was an Army wife were probably the hardest four years of my life.  I hated the military and even worse, my worst fears came true: the man I married turned into someone unrecognizable.  In the end, as you know, this led to a crumbled relationship and a divorce.  Although I do not blame the military for my divorce, it was a huge catalyst for it and I know for a fact the relationship I had with Josh would be very different had we not done the military.  I have looked back on this for a while now, wondering why I felt so inspired to support Josh's military career when it only gave me exactly what I feared from it.  Well, I feel I finally have an answer and it comes in two parts: 1.  I think that no matter what, eventually my marriage would have ended as Josh and I became incompatible as we chose different lives.  Although the divorce was nothing short of a hardship and heartbreak, I am thankful it is now while I am young and have the opportunity to start over rather than ten years from now where I would feel stuck and truly wasted is a marriage unappreciated for so long. So the Army was a blessing in the fact that it did sped up the demise that was looming over our relationship as it was clear Josh was not invested in the family or faith the way it would be needed to make the marriage work. 2. Josh went through both basic and AIT with another soldier who quickly became our friend.  For a year the three of us spent all our free time together as we were initiated into the Army lifestyle.  This friend went to church with us and was dear to my heart.  Over the years of our military life we kept in touch.  This friend became interested in my religion, which I shared freely with him, to then see him baptized, leading us to the present: him filling the role as my new boyfriend.  Although, I am still cautious and taking things slow, I already know this is the man I want to marry.  I think another reason I felt inspired to support Josh's military career was to give the opportunity to make the connection with Matt that I in no other way, would have made. I believe this more firmly as he tells how one day at school they were offering the ASFAB (military entrance test) and was last minute volunteered to take without having studied or knowing anything about it. Having scored a 98/100 he was quickly contacted and recruited in a whirlwind, unplanned and unexpected. Never before had he even considered military and to then, in a matter of months to be in basic and then AIT in unison with us seems nothing less then predestined.  I know in my heart, the Lord was aware of our future and I know Matt and the opportunity I have lived my life by,