Happy Mother's Day

Last Mother’s Day I know I came off a little bitter about the big hubbub people make about mothers, but only on one day.  Yet, almost every other day, society belittles the role of a mother, whether she stays at home or whether she works.  Constant criticism is found on how children are raised, what is right and how many are ”bad mothers” for allowing certain foods, electronics, and other trivial and personal choices.  With this criticism rampant and having been newly divorced, I was struggling to find what it meant for me to be a mother.  The year prior my then husband admitted I was less desirable once I became a mom; then having him leave me for another woman left me doubting all aspects of myself.  I wasn’t sure I could be both a mom and a dad, even com Mother’s Day when I had been doing it for a while.  I felt that while giving all I had, I was still falling short and the idea of failing my kids killed me inside. Then Mother’s Day rolled around and My children then one and three could not validate me as a mother or the fears I held deep within my heart.  Yet, all around me people congratulated mothers for being mothers and I felt inadequate and honestly out of place as I felt my situation was so different from the friends and families surrounding me.  Why could someone say Happy Mother’s Day or comment that I was a good mom, when for the last year I struggled to find my footing to be a single mom.  Where were those encouraging words when I needed them most and how trite their praises sounded when said only because of a day.  Needless to say, I was not in a good place and I was in fact bitter, although I hadn’t admitted that to myself yet.

This year however, I find myself in a very different place and am pleased to share that this year my heart is full and I see the joy of Mother’s Day. I could go into a lot of detail about the incidents in my life that influenced some of what changed of heart, but let me be terse by saying that my son offered a personal prayer, undirected, simply talking to his friend, his God he thanked the Lord for his mommy in a long four minute monologue that brought tears of joy to my eyes because my son recognized the deep love I had for him, and in return shared the love he had for me in his gratitude to the Lord.  Then, only a day later a friend sweetly brought me a corsage to celebrate my role as mother that I could wear it to church proudly knowing that when this friend thought of Mother’s Day, he thought of me.  While these things are important and very touching, this is not what has changed my heart.  What truly change my heart was recognizing my role as mother and understanding exactly what that was.

For me, I needed to go to the very basics: what as a mother am I expected to do? However, this was the wrong question to ask as I was quickly overwhelmed with the list that flooded my mind: doctor, cook, nurturer, therapist, nanny, playmate, discipliner, educator, accountant, and as you know the list goes on and on and on and on. Taking a step back, I asked a different question: What does God need me to do to take care of the spirit that he put in my care? This question was the question I needed. Yes, we are expected to meet all the physical and emotional needs of our children, but most importantly, what am I doing to nourish their spirits? How can I go back to my Father and account for the precious souls he put in my care.  Having asked this question, I saw the areas I needed to improve upon.  I needed to be more diligent about reading scriptures with my children every night so that they know mom loves them and Jesus loves them.  By doing this, it gave my little family a reason to huddle together on the floor each and every night to partake in one another’s company as we read and learned together.  I also taught my children to have their own personal prayers rather that just saying a family prayer on my own before tucking them in bed.  In doing this I have taught my children their importance and individuality.  I have taught them how to recognize and ne grateful for things in order for them to share that with their Lord.  I also became more diligent about holding a Family Home Evening where I taught my children a story from the scriptures, while providing an activity to help them remember the lesson.  Once again this has given our family the opportunity to spend quality time with one another while teaching my children the importance of sitting and listening to a lesson and them learning for themselves they have the ability to speak up and contribute their thoughts and feeling as well.  While I was trying to meet their spiritual needs, their others needs were being met.  I have confidence in what I am doing as a mother, knowing I am preparing my children the best way I can.  I am teaching them to love, think and act. 

“You are a link in the chains of generations…It is a status, an office. Just as is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king.” (Bethge, Eberhard).  Being a mother is a calling from God.  We have been chosen and set apart to co-create and brink into this world life to care for, nourish, raise, and then let go of. What a sacred privilege.  It is easy to get overwhelmed and frankly,  put out with all the tasks we are expected and needed to perform, but I have found that when I go back to the question What does God need me to do to take care of the spirit that he put in my care? I am confident in my role.  I can’t help but recall the story of the two thousand stripling warriors:

 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it (Alma 56:47-48).

They had been taught by their mothers that these youth, these teenage boys feared not for their lives, but were more concerned for the liberty and safety of their fathers, knowing in their heart that God would deliver them because their mothers had taught them so!

Two thousand stripling warriors, young men of power and might

Responded to the battle cry; O who will stand and fight?

Behold, our God is with us!  We serve at His command. 

They did not fear to give their lives but boldly took a stand.

 

This willing band of brothers were by their mothers taught

To trust in God continually, be true in deed and thought.

For God would then protect them; their faith He would reward.

They did not doubt their mothers knew; they trusted in the Lord (Murray, Bonnie).

These mothers prepared their sons.  Yes they fed and clothed them, meeting their physical needs, but more importantly they taught these boys how to be men by showing them and teaching them the Love of the Lord. What type of mother is that? Strong, valiant, intelligent, just to name a few, but we too can be all those things when we rely on the Lord to guide us as we magnify the calling of Mother.  We have been told time and time again that the last days are here:

But behold, in the last days, even now while the Lord is beginning to bring forth the word, and the blade is springing up and is yet tender—

Behold, verily I say unto you, the angels are crying unto the Lord day and night, who are ready and waiting to be sent forth to reap down the fields;

But the Lord saith unto them, pluck not up the tares while the blade is yet tender (for verily your faith is weak), lest you destroy the wheat also.

Therefore, let the wheat and the tares grow together until the harvest is fully ripe; then ye shall first gather out the wheat from among the tares, and after the gathering of the wheat, behold and lo, the tares are bound in bundles, and the field remaineth to be burned (D&C 86:4-7).

Sixty one years after this revelation was given, president Wilford Wodruff declared that the Lord has release those destroying angels and they were then upon the earth separating the tares from the wheat in preparation for the burning that would soon take place:

“God has held the angels of destruction for many years, lest they should reap down the wheat with the tares. But I want you to tell you now, that those angels have left the portals of heaven, and they stand over this people and this nation now, and are hovering over the earth waiting to pour out the judgments. And from this very day they shall be poured out. Calamities and troubles are increasing in the earth, and there is a meaning to these things. Remember this, and reflect upon these matters.”

So what does this have to do with motherhood? We are in a similar position as those mothers of the two thousand stripling warriors.  Just as they had to prepare their young children to be ready to go off and fight in a war, so do we. Morality, Integrity and other virtues that used to be a staple in our communities are not only disappearing, but mocked. Every day we face temptations we have to fight against and the world is getting scary.  We are sending our children out to be on the front lines to fight against Satan and prepare for the return of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

This reality terrifies me.  How can I ever prepare my sweet little children to be ready to fight such a battle?  I know for a fact it is not something I can do on my own.  And even if I had a husband, I would still be incapable of preparing them properly.  While I am the instrument and intercessory, it is the Lord and his spirit and power that helps me prepare these children as I take care of them as he would.  This reality brings such divinity to my role as mother and I am ashamed for being so flustered and out of place last year when the simple truth of what I am and what a mother is lies in what my Lord would do.  How blessed I am to have the title of mother.  It is no easy job and I am eternally grateful to my mother who gave me such a good example of what a mother is supposed to be. I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for trusting me to take care of his special, precious spirit children and I am grateful for his trust and belief in me, even when I fail to see it.  So this Mother’s Day I walk with confidence in knowing who I am and confidence in knowing that I am in fact doing all I can. So let me proudly say to you, to me, and to all Mothers out there: Happy Mother’s Day!