"Us"

Does he even find me attractive anymore?  When I confront him about it, he swears that he does, but I do not feel it; I do not believe it.  How can he find m attractive when so often his gaze looks right through me?  I feel I am not seen; at least not the way I feel he used to see me?  Have I changed so much?  Has he?

Last night we talked and it was about things already discussed, but last night he finally heard me.  This is progress as before it was deflection and justifications.  Last night he was forced to look on the situation and I hope that he finally saw what I have been seeing and carrying with me this last year.  If he gets to the point where he can finally name things for what they were then we finally have a place to start as this will show he is finally willing to admit what went wrong.  On this note, it surprises me what people can convince themselves what is truth and what is reality so that they don’t have to deal with the uglier side of things.  I guess confrontation of myself and confrontation with others does not bother me, that this is not an issue, making it harder to understand.

I know this is disjointed and ambiguous to probably all but me and my husband so to clarify: I think we might finally be able to work on “us” and I think we are finally making progress.