Memorial Day

Memorial Day is about remembering service members who  gave their life to help protect the freedoms we have. While reflecting on this day there are several thoughts that come to mind that I would like to share.  Unfortunately, in this country, we are aware of our military, but very disconnected.  I admit I was very much this way. Oblivious to the lifestyle, wars, politics and sacrifices our service members encounter daily.   Then I became an Army wife. Suddenly, every sacrifice Josh made, I suddenly was attached to. 
I value, honor and respect the men and women who have given their lives for this country and to me the word heroic doesn't say enough as they made our freedoms their duty.  However, it is who they leave behind who suffers daily.  Believe me these fallen soldiers deserve all of our respect, but so do their families.  There was a sister in my ward who's husband deployed with Josh back in 2010.  This sister was sweet and caring and often reached out to me. asking about my pregnancy while I struggled with bed rest.  She had four children, the youngest no older than three.  Sadly, her husband was one of those brave men who gave his life for our freedoms.  There are thousands of stories like these that are forgotten or never told, so as you pray and thank the service members who gave their life, pray for thanks and strength for the family they left behind.
Now, on a more personal note, I want to share how this day personally affects me. As you are well aware my marriage deteriorated after Josh joined the Army and although there were other factors involved, I still feel as though it was during his deployment that I lost him.  Although Josh's person returned home with new scars and stories, the man I married, did not.  For months, then years we discussed PTSD and counseling but to no avail.  You cannot help those who do not want to be helped.  In the end I lost my spouse, my dreams for the future and all the promises that had been made to me. I lost the Josh I married, and while today is about honoring the dead, the memory of that man remains in my heart as I honor who he was as he truly died in combat as well.