Why the selfie is more than just narcissism

For any popular “it thing” there is just as much back lash with vocal haters.  So too seems to be seen with the selfie.  More times than not you only hear why the selfie is an epidemic that needs to be done away with.  People who take selfies are labeled as vain, narcissistic, and classless. There seems to be so much judgment and hostility towards a way in which a picture is taken and the people taking those pictures. Like with anything, there are those that take things to more of an extreme, such as those individuals that use a selfie stick; however, I would like to give you the facts for why a selfie is not only appropriate, but healthy.

1.       Opportunity: I am a single mom.  Almost 98% of my day I am completely alone: me and my two toddlers.  Believe it or not, my young children are not very capable at taking a good photo.  I however think I take a decent photo.  What ended up happening that for two years, while I transitioned into singlehood after my divorce and transformed my body, attitude and life I had very few pictures of myself and my transformation.  If there was no way to take a selfie, I wouldn’t have any documentation of this big stage in my life.  Because of the selfie, I have the opportunity to be in photos I would in no other way be able to.

2.       No one is left out: While this is an addendum to the first point, it is still valid. How many times at Christmas, a social event, etc have wanted a picture of the entire group but are not in a place where someone is available to take your photo? I know I have experienced this and what ends up happening is one person volunteers to take the photo, being left out of the picture and after many years pass, tends to be left out from the memory as well.  Face it, without visual representation we forget things easily and quickly. Now while I am not an advocate for a selfie stick, here is my rebuttle against it: does it really matter if a picture is taken with a tripod or with a stick?

3.       Close proximity: When taking a selfie, you are typically taking a close up as you can only extend your camera the length of the reach of your arm.  Because of this when taking a picture with anyone else you are forced to huddle close to each other in order to fit in the frame.  Do I even need to argue why this is a good thing?  Especially in an age where we have become more and more disconnected with other people as anything anymore is more technological that it is social.  Even on social media, most things I find posted are recipies, memes and videos.  Even though it only takes a couple seconds to take a selfie, it is a couple seconds you are interacting closely with a human being you care enough about to take a picture with.

4.       How you view yourself: Now for me, this one is the most important point of all. While I feel this applies to everyone, obviously my life experiences has given me a perspective from a woman’s point of view.  Everywhere you turn women are becoming more sexualized that ever before.  Commercials for underwear show as much as soft porn used to.  As women, we are caught in a society run juxtaposition: you are a beautiful object that should be shown off and appreciated, yet also, are shamed for posting pictures of ourselves and quickly labeled vain when we show our face or bodies for anything other than sex. I know that is a very rough generalization, but the point I am trying to make is this: we are ALWAYS being judged.  Once again, I am sure this applies to male and female alike, but I can only speak from my experiences.  A woman posts a photo and she is labeled vain, seeking attention, or trying to get an interest’s attention.  However, that is WRONG, and while I am sure some women post selfies for one of those reasons I am willing to bet it isn’t the majority as it seems to be stated.  I post selfies of myself for ME and me alone.  Facebook is an amazing thing as are other social media sites, but I upload all photos to Facebook so that I have them safely saved to a place other that my phone or my computer.  I post selfies to facebook because I like the way I view myself, and come on, isn’t that something we all struggle with?  For years I have faught with low self esteem, especially when it came to my weight and my looks.  So when there is a day that even though I am not at my goal weight, haven’t had my hair profecionally done, etc and still feel beautiful, I celebrate that with myself.  I love myself and there is NOTHING wrong with that.  In fact, I believe most people don’t love themselves enough, so then why when we are trying to reclaim the love we need to have, would you label and trash us “selfie takers?”

Now do we need selfies of you in your gym bathroom all over Facebook? Who am I to judge? Maybe that is the motivation that person needs: to look at themselves to see what they accomplish; to then inspire them to do it again tomorrow. The selfie is a great way to find new ways of expressing ourselves and loving ourselves.  I guess I pose this question and welcome all comments: If you are a selfie hater, what is it that make you so against them?