another stormy night

I wish I had some profound revelation, or inspirational insight about how we are what we survive, yadda yadda yadda, but tonight the fight is dead.  Once again I am sad and lonely.  I feel as if I am in a lose, lose situation.  I can finally just drop the emotions and people that are pulling me under, but by doing that I, according to some family members, sacrificing the happiness of my children by all the unforeseen obstacles and effects of divorce.  So either I stay in a loveless marriage as a martyr or be the villain that splits my family apart.  My direction is shaky at best; no clear strong answer or direction and I feel I am muddling around in the depression of my loneliness while I struggle to make it through each and every day.  There have been a few friends to reach out with words of encouragement, which I appreciate, but even with their love and support there is nothing for anyone to do and I am just lost.