Why we should demand respect

Respect is an ambiguous word as every person has their own meaning and definition as to what respect means and looks like.  Sadly, I feel the word often times does not have a high enough value attached to it as we tend to undervalue ourselves for whatever reason.

When I was 19 I was green.  On my own, but new to the world as an “adult.”  I felt I knew exactly what respect was as I watched the relationship of my mother and father and their happy marriage of many, many years.  Despite seeing this love and respect, I didn’t realize how my own insecurities and self hatred corrupted the value into something less than what it was meant to be.  Although not at all accurate, let me use a number scale to make my point.  Say I am an 8, but only see myself as a 5.  If I see myself as a five, I am not going to demand the same respect, love, admiration, etc as an 8.  Therefore by devaluing myself, I devalue the respect I receive. 

I am only learning now, that I had been guilty of this undervaluing of myself ten years ago when I met Josh. Because I devalued my own worth, I undermined myself, accepting less than what I truly deserved.  This didn’t prove to be too much of a problem, until our relationship began to sour.  The more unhappy he became, the more he attached, and I allowed him to attach, his negative emotions to me, which only further lowered the number I assigned myself and therefore lowered the respect I demanded.  What resulted is over the years our relationship deteriorated, so did the respect I received.  I took more disrespect and less love as that is how I allowed myself to be viewed.

However, after emerging from the toxicity of such a relationship I had begun to realize just how low I viewed and treated myself.  I began working to see myself for what I used to be and relied on friends and family to build me up as I see my worth.  I have to admit I have two friends as of recently who have given me a whole new level of insight.  Going back to the number example, I now see myself as an 8.  I no longer devalue myself and demand the love and respect and 8 deserves.  These two friends of mine though have set a higher standard.  They give me the love and respect of a 10 as they say that is the worth of every woman, and that is the worth in which they see me.  I have been surprised, softened and encouraged to see this respect and have learned through them that when these men respect me more, I respect myself more. I love myself more and I set my worth and my value at the level God intended: 10.  One with lineage and royalty to be an Heavenly Daughter and Queen.

So, remember your value.  Remember your self worth and only surround yourself with people who magnify your worth and potential!