More together

Life is slowly coming together for me.  For so long every day has just been a day I need to survive.  A day I need to get through for myself and for my children.  Finally though, the struggle of each day is starting to ease.  I am beginning to see things past the end of the day and hope for things beyond just tomorrow.  For the last several months there have been tasks and emotions that have been so overwhelming and disheartening that the children and I would sit on the couch all day as I sat in my depression, doing all that I knew how to do.  Don't get me wrong, that was not a daily thing, but it was very clear I had lost the mother, the part of myself that I had been before my marriage began to fall apart.  I used to do an activity with my child everyday to inspire his wonder and expand his knowledge and that has sadly all fallen to the wayside.  Outing easily overwhelmed me and they decreased drastically.  However, I am working on picking these things up again.  I am a little less self focused that I have more patience when my 3 year old son starts a new tirade and barrage of questions of why, why, how, why, when, who, why, why, why...you get the point. We have year passes to the zoo, the butterfly pavilion and the children's museum (thanks to Christmas gifts and friends) and we have been trying to go more regularly to create a space outside of the nest we and slothful habits we sometimes fall into at home.  My cake business has exploded and I am staying busy with orders and new prospects in just a matter of months.  I am 3/4 of the way through my self help program (The Last Year of Your Life) and while not as life altering and exciting as the first couple weeks, it is still a great program to help me achieve my goals and track my progress. Since July I have lost 40 lbs and have kept it all off which has radically transformed my life as I am sure you have seen. I still go to the gym and work hard, but keep my same standard of life.  I eat what I want and do what I do and have hit a little it of a wall, but still plan on losing weight as I have the time and motivation to make it more of a priority, and right now the priority is health and emotional cleansing.  I find myself smiling more and day by day I find myself thinking of him less and less.  This has been a process and I know there is still a lot more to it,  but it feels so good to finally be on the downhill side of things. I know this is a very short general overview that I am sure most of you are aware of anyway, but after the last couple post I want to stress that despite the hard days, I am happy.  I love my Father in Heaven who blesses me daily and am so thankful for my parents who have been a very needed lifeline throughout all of this.  I am excited and ready to SLOWLY transition into the dating world.  After my shock in TX and all the muddled emotions of my heart and head, I feel I am more prepared to find the single woman I am.  I love you all!