I once saw an article on Yahoo about how the longer a happy couple stays together, the more their physical features change resulting in the couple looking very similar, almost in some extents where they look like they are brother and sister. This was a fun article to read and one I suggest reading:
http://www.9jabook.com/profiles/blogs/why-couples-look-alike-after
the writer of the theory states that it is due to sharing the same emotions, and therefore having the same facial reactions and expressions that leads to this, but I theorize it is much deeper, especially when looked at in an eternal scale.
When you marry, you bind yourself legally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. As anyone knows the foundation for a successful marriage is sharing the same goals. you have to be headed in the same direction for a marriage to work. Plans alter, but the direction stays the same as you and your spouse work towards building your home around something. This partnership is invaluable in life, which is why despite the statistics and hoopla associated with a marriage, people still choose everyday to find their helpmate in life.
Also with marriage comes the personal closeness and connection found within the marital bands of intimacy with your partner. Never before have I ever felt as close emotionally with a person as I did with my spouse when we shared in those intimate moments. I bring this up as I believe this act of intimacy is much more than carnal and emotional needs being met. It is a true communication of souls as two people put themselves together to be one.
The prelude of all of this, leads here: when we are happily married and striving to maintain, strengthen and grow these relationships we are working on the art of selflessness in small degrees and aligning ourselves with one another.
All growing up I was taught to Choose The Right and follow Christ and his example as we are all trying to be as he was, love as he did that we may align ourselves with our Lord, making us more like him. And I may be completely off base, but come on, a good 9/10 I can point to a person by the way they act and by the way they look and know for a fact they are a Latter Day Saint. When we take upon ourselves the name and work of the Lord, his light shines through us, so why would it not also be similar on a smaller scale between husband and wife?
The soul is a powerful thing and sadly I feel we get so caught up in the carnal aspects of our bodies, we forget the magnitude and birthright of power endowed in each of us. Meaning this: I believe our souls take on the look of our lives.
For all my literary readers out there, you have seen this discussed in depth in the book The Picture of Dorian Gray. This man is painted in his innocent and youth, a beauty. Somehow the man painted remains forever in this youthful, innocent state while the portrait turn to a hideous old man as the character ventured into corruption, selfishness, and murder. The moral of the story being that our actions color who we are internally as well as externally and there is nothing we can do to hide from those marring scars and blotches. if we take filth into ourselves, why would it not be seen in our countenance?
Having said this, let me transition into my life experiences. I always felt very connected to my ex husband emotionally. although he did not return the channel of communication, I very much was linked to him emotionally. This became very difficult for me as the years leading to our divorce were filled with anger, sorrow, and other very dark emotions that I often felt dragged down and beaten. As you know, I have worked very hard on myself this last year as I have been trying to separate myself from the man I thought would be my forever. It has proven to be a very hard link to sever. When Josh walks into the house to be with the children, instantly I feel his anger that is still always present and it hurts to know I still feel it so deeply within myself just by the sheer fact of him walking through the door. This is the part I have especially been reflecting on as I wish I knew how to be done with all the emotional holds I ever had with him, but found peace in this, and I apologize in advance if this comes off callous, but these are my observations: I have been focusing on my relationship with God, my children and myself as I strive to be a better person to be able to serve my children better. In this last year I have remapped my emotions and my line of thinking as I separated myself from the toxic degeneration and negativity the relationship I was in only promoted. I have lost 40 pounds and look better than I have looked in years, I can't even tell you how many people have come up to me saying the same words of "you look like yourself again. It is so good to see you so happy." Although this has not been an easy year it has been a good year as I have overcome so much and am learning to put my trust and faith in things that are not of this world. I feel like who I am and how I look radiated the life I live.
In comparison, it has been interesting to see the slow change of the man that used to be my husband. He has lost lots of weight. his balding has increased and there is never a smile to be seen. His face is worn and taut and it seems very clear to me he is unhappy. I admit now the unhappy is a judgment on my part, but He has commented several times he is still suicidal, he is always angry and in his words he "isn't doing well" I am sure there are explanations like lack of sleep, lack of food, cigarettes, alcohol, etc, but the point remains: he too wears his lifestyle on his face.
So in a very verbose and long winded post, this is what I am saying: we look like what we put effort into.
I love this! It is beautiful and thoughtful.
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