Mush Alert

I know I have been awful about posting lately. but you see all my free time goes to my boyfriend.  Yup, that is correct, for those of you who missed the Facebook announcement, Matt and I are now officially monogamous. I know, this is in fact a little contradictory to my earlier post and it wasn't planned either.  You see, Matt has been asking me for months for me to be his girlfriend, but fears and working on letting go of my past kept me hesitant although we clearly had a relationship worth getting serious over.  One day Matt was over, giving me a long, close hug when he repeated his request again, "be my girlfriend" and before I even registered what he was saying, I somehow had already said yes.  My response scared me, but at the same time, it felt right too.  We talked about whether or not I felt I was ready for this and although my response was very unplanned, I decided it was the right response and I don't regret it at all.  I have not felt this way in such a long time.  I feel valued, loved, respected, and so much more.  I have a best friend who knows me, loves me and spends every chance he can with me and my kids.  I have hope, adventure and most important: a smile.
If you are like me you are probably asking yourselves, that is great, but what does it all mean?  It means this: I like Matt enough to commit myself to him and this relationship as I see potential in him to be both a husband and a father to my kids.  Does this mean we contemplating marriage? Yes, but that is long term.  Right now we are happy to watch our relationship evolve as we find how all our pieces fit together.  To be honest, this last week was a bit of an off week for us as we had a lot of miscommunication and confusion, but I am thankful to have had such a week as we learn of each other and how our lives can fit together. 
I am still very scared, but to be honest with myself and with you, there is very real potential here.  I am still slow and cautious, but my heart and impressions are guiding me along with my mind and I feel happy as I feel I am finally moving on in all the best ways.  My kids are doing well and for the first time in a long time, I am proud of the mom I am and used to be before my world crumpled around me.  I have victoriously built Cherish 2.0 and am blessed to have a worthy man cheer me on as reach for the goals in my life that are most important. 
Really, what it all comes down to is this: I am falling in love slowly, one day at a time and the love is real and earned and proved true on both sides.  I feel good and I am happy.