Baby Steps

My husband has now seen a counselor and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress; he is now on an anti-depressant so I have hope that the medication and the continued counseling will hope clear his mind and hopefully he can return to the person I know him to be.  I know it is still going to be a long hard road, but at least he is finally taking the steps he needs to get better and I hope with him betting better, we can continue to mend our marriage.  As of right now our marriage seems to follow his mood swings both with the ups and the downs, but I at least have hope again.  I can now only hope this will make him question his decision to re-enlist because how can either of us survive another deployment?  One day at a time though.  For a while I was really upset that I was pregnant through all of this; please don’t get me wrong, I want another child more than anything else.  It just didn’t seem fair to bring another child into this situation, but now I am hoping it will give him clarity towards what is really important as well as possibly bringing us together as we add a new member to our family.  We are both looking forward to the ultra sound at the end of the month and I feel once the gender is known, the baby will be more real to him.  I guess that’s enough ramblings for tonight, but thank you for all who read this and to all who have sent kind words and support though this all; it have given me more strength than you know!