Ok the monotony is starting to drive me crazy again.  I think a big part is due to the pregnancy.  Because it is so stinking hot and humid out, I am just miserable outside already and it technically isn’t even summer yet.  Due to this, we no longer are going on our daily walks and sitting in the house doing the same routine over and over is making me batty!  I am really looking forward to my family reunion this June to give me a chance to leave the city and spend several days with my family, but until then I feel like I am just counting the minutes until naptime and then bedtime, just to start the same day over again.  Now that I am writing this out, I think it just because I haven’t had a chance to fill myself up emotionally.  As of right now I feel like I am the glue holding everything together.  My husband has been very good about taking over the kid when he gets home to give me time to myself, but lately it just doesn’t seem to be enough.  I think I need a night out; I need someone to take care of me, which really is a catch 22 since I tend to not let people take care of what I can do myself.  I guess I am starting to feel more acutely the strain on our marriage has had on the day to day aspects of my life.  While pondering this thought it makes me feel guilty because there have been people in my life before who have been divorced and although I tried to synthesize with them I never understood how one could let their marriage get to that point.  I was so naive and inwardly judgmental as I wasn’t able to understand the situation.  Now however, I realize a marriage can be destroyed by only one party.  It takes two to make a relationship work and if one person decided to quit trying, what is the other to do?  You can only carry a relationship so far by yourself before you are worn to the bone.  I am thankful my husband has decided to start trying again so although nothing has been resolved as of yet, I no longer feel as alone as I did.  To those who’s significant other just gave up on their life and relationship I am so sorry and I now know how to empathize with your situation.