How did Christ do it?  How did he attend only to the needs of others without worrying about himself?  How did he give only without being so taxed that it overwhelmed him?  Days like today I wonder, how can I ever be anything close to that?  All day today my child has needed something and I feel he was much more demanding of my emotions and attentions today.  My body for the last seven plus months has been used to create a new body within my own, taking my own body from me and taxing me physically.  Then when I feel I can take no more, I look forward to my husband coming home in hopes of a recharge or break, but instead I feel I must meet his needs as well or feel incredibly disappointed when I have given love all days and still feel I have received none in return.  How do you continually give love when you yourself feel you are deprived it?  At the end of every day I feel I have given all I can give and there is nothing left, only to wake and do the same thing again the next day.  I feel as if I am running on fumes created as I steal kisses from my stubborn 22 mo old son.  I can’t help but thinking that this isn’t how life is supposed to be.  This isn’t the way I am supposed to feel.  I don’t want to ignore or neglect the progress that has been made, but when will I have my time to finally be loved and have the opportunity to grieve for all my losses.  Is this just my carnal need to make things about myself, what do you do when you have no more strength to move mountains or conduct your entire family week after week?  I can’t give up; I don’t know how to, but some days I feel like I am literally killing myself with everything I undertake and it is really hard to keep a positive attitude as I feel I am the one getting the short end of the stick.  What do you do when your husband says he loves you but he does not feel love for you because of where he is at mentally within himself?  How do you not take that personally, especially after I have seen him share and grow love with other individuals?  How do I fill my cup with the love I need?  I know I gain great comfort from my personal study and prayers with my Father in Heaven, but my carnal body need the hugs and kisses to encourage and remind me that I am a person of value and that I am loved.  Please don’t feel sorry for me and in fact I apologize for this whole blog of emotional vomit, but the emotions are raw and real, so why not share them with the world, right?  Let’s just say it was a hormonal night and I am sure there will be several more crazy, tear inspired posts to come within the next seven weeks.