Life in a Box

Since I have been home, my parents have been very attentive and have expressed on several occasions that I have a right to let go and finally focus on me.  This is a hard concept for me, especially being a mom to two little ones.  Of course my parents aren’t implying I neglect my mother responsibilities, but they feel I am holding onto a lot of stress and emotions I do not need to be carrying around.  I am not saying I do not disagree, but I am having a hard time finding a way to put down all these stored up troubles, emotions, memories and disappointments.  Every day I way up pleading with and thanking the Lord.  I read my scriptures, I even read a conference talk a day, but still I have not found a release.  I have begun unpacking boxes and since I have two little children, I was not able to supervise the packers as closely as I wish I could have.  This means that more times than not, my husband’s items were packed along side of mine.  There is no harm in this, but it was a very interesting visual representation of my mind and body.  Here there is this heavy cluttered box and I now am tasked to go through piece by piece in order to find a home for each article.  There are things I have forgotten about and things I cherish greatly and every once in a while there is an item that belongs to Josh.  So I clean sort and store until finally I have emptied the box.  Why then is it not the same for my mind?  Shouldn’t I take the time to reflect once again on who I am, what my goals are so that I can clean and sort these emotions that are meant to fuel and refine me.  Then every so often when I come across a burden I took up upon myself when I was trying to help my husband, I can say wait; this is not mine, and move it out of my box (head).  As we all know, unpacking takes a while and I already know I will need help, but I have my task and it is time to get to work.