When I crossed into the boundaries of Colorado, I was elated
and excited to be returning to familiar ground, even though it was still a two
hour drive until I was “home.” I kept
looking off into the distance waiting to see the mountain range that gave me so
much comfort. Then all of the sudden as
I came up over a hill, there it was in its entire blue and white glistening
splendor. Relief and excitement coursed
through my veins and then in a split second I was wrapped in peace. The thought came to mind that this was the
right decision. This was home. This was for me. I wish there were words to describe the
comfort that calmed my frazzled stressed heart and spoke peace and calm to my
very being.
I wish I still had that peace and excitement because the
truth of it is this: I am scared to death.
I know for a fact my road is not an easy one and although I know it is
the right path, that does not make it an easy path and I doubt my strength and
insight. I know all will be well through
the Lord, but I do not look forward to the struggle.
My parents have been nothing but supportive and loving and I
thank God for eternal families and this blessed unit to be my shelter in this
world. I wish to be this same thing for
my kids and doubt my ability now that my family unit is different as I am
officially on my own and separated from my husband. I am setting up a room for my kids and a room
for me, and it is weird and to be honest, slightly uncomfortable having a space
meant only for me. I have been a part of
my marriage for so long that it will be difficult learning who I am again as I
no longer worry for, support, or strive to understand a spouse. I have many fears, but also have the best
support system I could possibly have, so despite my trials, I am deeply
blessed. I know you are all probably
getting sick and tired of hearing about my divorce and the hurricane my life
has become, but bear with me as I seek to find a voice to set me free from the
emotions that flood me.
not getting sick of it, appreciate your openness and honesty, as it can help many others on their own path. it's time to focus on healing you now. that peace you felt was a gift, something to look back on when times are tough and know that you are loved by a heavenly father who knows you, his daughter. remember that faith makes all things possible, not easy. you can do this and you are loved more than you know. you are always in my prayers! love you!
ReplyDeletethank you so much Laura, you always seem to know just what to say. Your words bring comfort to me and are a great reminder!
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