Ah, another lonely night with a head full of tears I refuse
to release. Another disappointment. Another long day. Another worn apology. My heart and head are so full that despite
the exhaustion, I cannot sleep. Yet, I
am alright because that is what I tell people when they ask.
It is always going to be difficult with him and to be honest
I dread the long road ahead because with our children, my life will always be
intertwined with his and it still hurts so bad at the stark coldness of all
that is lost. I hate this life I have
found myself in.
On a very different note, I am beginning to plan for a life
of financial independence and stability and although I have a degree (in
English) there is not a whole lot out there I feel will suit what I am looking
for. Therefore, I have decided to enroll
in cake decorating classes (a recent hobby I have enjoyed) to see if I can
somehow do something with that and if it turns out not to be a reliable source
of income, then I have at least furthered a talent. Classes start the 11th.
cherish, please have yourself a good long cry, you worry me keeping it all bottled up in there. :( that's not healthy for you and emotions not dealt with eventually become physical symptoms and problems. get in the shower and howl it out, girl! (((((((hugs))))))
ReplyDeletep.s. the cake decorating sounds fun. :)
I think you are right, I have cried, and often, but I haven't "howled it out" yet :) I think that is coming and then I can finally deal with the emotions and work on moving on!
Deletei always feel this huge release after a good howl ;)
DeleteOooooooh! I am so excited for your cake decorating!!!! It's like when we watched all those cake shows!!!! I stalk you all the time and I always wish I was there with you!
ReplyDelete