I am feeling sorry for myself tonight. I just don’t know how to get all this yuck
out of my heart and out of my head. I
feel over-burdened and heavy with trials I feel I don’t know how to carry. I am frustrated. Life has its ups and down right, a good year,
a bad year. When I have had three very
difficult years in a row and I am wondering when I will get my chance to breathe
before I am plunged once again under this strong current of tribulation! But I know this thinking isn’t healthy and no
once certainly wants to read about it, so let’s change gears. I vow to be the strongest woman I know how to
be. I vow to be the best mother I know
how to be as I learn to let go of feelings so that they won’t taint my time
with my son. I vow to be in the best
health I can for myself and for the baby I am carrying. I will also vow to try and understand my
husband and try to see him as my Father in Heaven does. Big sigh…I feel slightly less heavy. I guess change does start with yourself. I wonder then why I feel the need to sometime
hold on to the anger I am feeling when it would be so much easier to let it go. I wish I knew how to turn the other cheek, I
wish I knew how to forgive to get rid of some of the hurt. I wish I was someone else right now. Goodness, there I go again feeling
sorry. Such a vicious sneaky cycle! I think I am headed to bed to get as much
sleep as I can so I can face my very emotional day tomorrow. Wish me luck!
i don't know exactly what you're going through but i like your vows and i do believe that change does start with ourselves. bitterness will only eat us alive. the things you mentioned....forgiveness, turning the other cheek....those things aren't always or usually instantaneous, but it sounds like you are on the best path you know how. hang in there, sister, and good luck with today! ((((hugs)))) laura
ReplyDeletethanks so much Laura...being a pregnant woman it is easy to get lost in teh emotions. Your thoughts and wncouragement are very appreciated!
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