I am starting to get anxious for my husband’s upcoming psych
evaluation on Thursday. Although the
Army says that the mental stability of their soldiers is their number one priority,
I feel that is only true to a certain degree. If you mention the word suicide,
they are high risk and concern until the soldier says he is not at risk of
suicide and then all the concern seems to dissipate. Seeing as my husband at the moment is showing
signs of 4/6 symptoms of suicide I am beyond frustrated that we have had to
wait a week to even get in and see a doctor, and this doctor may not even be the
right doctor for bipolar testing which means there is a high possibility we may
have to wait for yet another appointment.
I just want what is best for my husband and not another list of excuses
and justification that may result in a trained soldier being med boarded (which
the Army is always more than reluctant to do with a soldier they value). For brief moments I feel like the husband I
married is still there, but there is so much hurt and fogginess clouding his
eyes that it sometimes if hard to see the love I know he has for us. I just want him back and I feel and am hoping
that medication will help him stabilize the difficulties he is going
through. If anyone is bipolar or has
someone close who suffers with this I would love any advice you have to offer because
I want to support him, but that’s hard when he pushes me away. Hope.
Hope. Hope.
Prayers going your way. And I'll keep my fingers crossed, too (just in case). ;-)
ReplyDeletemy good friend was diagnosed with depression and bipolar but after meeting with her therapist several times, he wasn't so sure that's what it was since he'd discovered she had ptsd. anyway, here are the links to her blog where she talks about her dissociative disorder. josh's may be totally different but maybe the questions and website will be of some help.
ReplyDeletehttp://familytraylor.blogspot.com/2012/05/did.html
http://familytraylor.blogspot.com/2012/05/did-part-2what-is-it.html
Cherish both my bf and I are bi-polar. Not sure of the types at the moment..but we do not have the same type. He has the "usual" type you hear about..the long depressed cycles and the really high manic sides..where he can't sleep and does all these activities..whereas I tend to cycle back and forth quickly between the two extremes..sometimes all in one day a few times..but for both of us..a very low dose of medication (he takes lithium oratate and I take carbamazepine) we are stabilized. He was diagnosed before I was..he was in a very long depressed cycle..and when looking at the lists of questions he hit almost everyone on the head..the biggest ones being that he self medicated from an early age (alcohol, cigarettes, pot and then harder drugs) and also got into trouble alot because he had no impulse control..if he wanted to do something he did it, he had a saying that was he could be an asshole savant (sorry for the language) but he could lash out in a way to tear strips into anyone that cared for him if he was hurting..he could hurt back twice as bad. The real downfall to the medication is that it stifles the creativity. Matt has always been an artist..jewelry, woodworking, drawing and that almost stopped 100% for along time..just recently started it back up. But the impulse control can be in alot of areas also..can act out socially or sexually (the girl in colorado), seeing no hope for anything and also the suicidal thoughts. Matt had exact thoughts of how he would kill himself since he was a young child and he never was diagnosed til he was with me. I on the other hand had kind of batted around the thought of suicide a few times but never in real definition or like that..just more because it just felt hopeless, but at the same time I couldn't give any energy to that idea to make it come to pass (thankfully). We still have our bad days..as long as we both don't hit down times together we are ok..but just getting on the medications made a huge difference in our lives. I am hoping they do not just shuffle him off and wax over the problems as if they are not there. Right now Matt does not have insurance and he used to be on lithium sulfate...prescription drug..which raised his bp as it was a salt base..he takes lithium oratate now which is over the counter (it is just a type of mineral that is ground down) and he takes less of it, doesn't have the bp issues and also can be creative..so if they do not find a problem..maybe you can try this out yourself. Also remember if they do put him on something..it may take weeks to show a difference and it may not be the right drug to begin with..it might take a few different ones to get it right...hang in there and keep trying. It seems like the doctors also like to prescribe the newest most expensive drugs out there that are not as well tested..if you can try to stay clear of them. Good luck and hope this mini novel helped..if you ever need to ask me any questions..just do it..I will not take offense..I am very open about our issues and have no problems helping others.
ReplyDeletethank you for your very open and honest response. I am pretty certain this is Josh's problem but the issue now is fighting the Army to get him to even meet with the right people. They keep giving him appointments with PA and not psychatrists like they should, but he finally has an appointment for mid July...now we just have to wait all over again. I have found a therapist who is willing to see him under my name so that he won't be worried about what might be reported to his commanding officers hopefully making him more truthfull about his symptoms. I plan on trying to set this up as soon as we get back from vacation.
DeleteThat is great that you have that access..sad that it has to come to that, but I am glad you do have that avenue if needed. Waiting is the hardest thing, but I was on anti depressants for over 10 years and just kept getting the prescriptions upped, then added to then changed as they quit working because it wasn't depression that was the problem in actuality it was bi-polar I just showed the depressed side a bit more often I guess..or it is easy to look past someone who is happy and raring to go..but not so easy to look past someone crying or growling all the time...so it must be only depression right?
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