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Wednesday, April 17, 2013


As you know my husband and I have separated; however, I have hope that despite all the evidence, our marriage can still be repaired if only he were willing to work for it.  This means that besides family and the few of you who read my blog, no one is aware of what I am going through.  This was a difficult burden to keep to myself on Sunday in particular, and this is the reason I think explain it.  While walking the halls with my baby, or while sitting in the lounge, there were several people who while walking by themselves would offer the similar small talk which usually resulted in hey, how are you doing? Before they move on to a quick follow up on themselves.  Of course I never revealed my secret, but I feel a large part of the reason why, is because the people who asked about me asked only out of obligation and not out of concern or care. Don’t get me wrong, I still care for these people, even the ones I barley know and appreciate their efforts, but it made me reflect on my own life.  How many times have I asked about someone in a terse fashion in order to quickly make contact and move on?  I felt a little disappointed in myself as if I am making the effort to ask the question, I should make the same effort to really feel concern and wonder, I should give the same effort to connecting with the person and listening to what that person has to say.  As a society, we are taught to always be busy and we fill up our lives with appointments, entertainment and other seemingly necessary tasks.  I feel that because of this we make our social interactions less of a priority so as we can continue on, and in the end without realizing it, we alienate our fellow brothers and sisters.  Once again I was so ashamed to face that this is exactly what I do and yet I long for and appreciate the people who look me in the eye and show me the concern I fail to give others.   So in short, the next time you casually ask how a person is doing, I urge you to take just a little more time and be present when you ask and listen to the ansewer a=instead of making it a petty greeting in passing.

2 comments:

  1. I notice most people will ask the question, "how r u", then keep on walking not even giving u time to answer. I think it's something we've been trained to do but maybe when quickly walking through the hall we could say, "hi there", or "good to see you" instead. I love how rather than being upset with those people, you r able to turn inward and take a deep look at yourself to make a change with the same behavior. I think those little things are part of the refiners fire, polishing us to become more and more like our savior in our suffering. On the other hand, don't b afraid to b vulnerable and speak out and let someone know you're having a hard time. We just watched the conference talk by Quenten l cook...hope ya know, we had a hard time, in RS Sunday. You should check it out. Love you and I'm sorry if I've ever been in too much a rush to listen or ask the right questions. ((((hugs)))) c u tomorrow!!

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    1. Laura, you would be one of the few people I would say this did not apply to! I will have to look up that talk as the one I just read that has been guiding my life is the one Ukdorf gave Sun. morning <3! It is also hard to be vulnerable and share when there isn't anything anyone can do for me. I am blessed to have my family and even Josh's family support me in whatever I need. I just need to keep making strength even though I don't know how, lol. Thank you so much for your response!!!!

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