Romance Novels and the Societal View on Feminine Sexuality

Ok, this might be me getting on my feminist soap box, but read this through and hear me out.  It is a well known fact that men look at porn.  In fact, I would say there are only a rare few who have never viewed the filth.  I know it is a problem in many homes and to be honest and open it has been a problem in my home at one point in time.  There are always a myriad of excuses as to why a man feels justified in his dirty obsession.  Many friend I have talked with who have dealt with this issue always feel like they are the ones responsible for the husband’s betrayal.  Often times the women feel that if she would have been more willing to meet her husband’s needs as often as he required, the problem wouldn’t exist.  In today’s society woman are sexualized in almost every deed making us objects who entice sex but who are then portrayed as shrewd vixens who lock up our “goods” as if sex were abhorrent to us.  Sitcom after sitcom we see the female making excuses to get out of sex while the male tries to seduce, manipulate and entice.  I have never agreed with these stereotypical roles mostly because my relationship with my husband in this area is reversed and I assumed I was just different from the mainstream because stereotypes are often set off a precedent right?  However, with the new popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey I was curious what the hype was about and began reading the books. 

I was not aware these were romance novels and it intrigued me and made me think.  Romance novels are wide spread and highly popular among women of all ages and stages of life.  If women are meant to dislike and dissuade sex, then why are we buying so much of it written on the page?  Is society wrong about women’s sexual habits?  Is it because women’s needs aren’t being met sexually that they desire to get that fulfillment somewhere else?  Or is it because women wished they were the sexual sirens portrayed in these books?  If women are so tight minded and recluse about sex, why read about it?  Why make it the new social fad to not only read a book about sex, but a book about S and M sex?  I think the popularity of such books illustrates that society had painted our sexuality in the wrong light because obviously women enjoy sex and they enjoy reading and talking about it.  I feel that women feel they have to hide their enjoyment; otherwise they are labeled as a slut or a whore, whereas a male’s sexual exploits seem to propel him into adulthood and popularity.

I have to admit that I am not a big fan of the trilogy and to be honest I feel it is similar to what porn is for makes (replacing the other partner with a fantasy) but I hope its popularity will at least shed some light on the misconceptions plaguing women.