What I want to teach my daughter

As many of you know having read my memoir 1. I have always struggled with my self worth and 2. my parents were very against my marriage to Josh.  As you also know for the last four months, I have been working really hard on my growth physically, mentally, and spiritually, putting me in a place where I am finally feeling comfortable inside my own skin, sadly I cannot even remember the last time I have felt this way: empowered, successful, beautiful and special. 
When I met Josh I was nineteen and lost.  I didn't realize just how lost I was, but I desperately sought approval from anyone who would give it to me.  Everyone warned that I was so much better than him and it hurt me as it all seemed so judgmental.  I mean if people were assessing his worth, how many people found me lacking? Because I felt so insecure with who I was, I set the bar low, so that when those standards were met, I was elated. I was accepted. I was loved.
The cautions never ended and I brushed them all away thinking I was so Christ like loving everyone, especially the most unlikely of boys.  I believed in change.  I believed in his words.  I believed in the way he made me feel. I didn't think it was possible to set the bar too low as long as they did not compromise my standards. Seven very painful years later, I look back and see how naïve and blind I was.  I committed to a lifetime of love to him all on his words and his ability to be sober for eight months.  I believed if he could do that, what was one more day, one more week, one more year, one more lifetime. I knew where my bar was set and rather than watching for him to prove he could reach it, I took his word for it. 
So to my daughter there really is such a thing as setting the bar too low because you may think you are helping this person, you aren't.  It is no different than the different degrees of heaven.  You are put where you are comfortable.  Where you don't shrink away in sorrow or inadequacy, and that is what happened in my marriage.  Josh decided a long time ago that he would and could never meet my standard; my bar.  So instead, he pushed me away with his words and his actions, destroying me bit my bit, until I was able to see for myself just how low his bar was. 
Those seven years I did all that I thought I could.  I was the best person I knew how to be.  I thought I was the best person I could be.  However, after finally separating and having only myself to worry about; after I was able to let go of Josh and all his choices, did I see just how much I had been held back as I sacrificed my growth to try and stay as close to him as possible.  That is not a sacrifice anyone should have to make.
Sometimes we are called into peoples lives to be a guide and to help teach them truth and love and the gospel, and because of that there is a connection.  I KNOW for a fact that I was meant to be a part of Josh's life.  The pull I felt towards him, the patience, the love it had to be Christ-like and looking back I feel I was an answer to his parent's prayers as they begged with the lord to find a way to save  him.  I think I was that tool.  I gave him what he needed and I gave him that opportunity, but I feel I might have confused this purpose with the need to be married to him.  I don't think the Lord would want me paired with someone so unbalanced.  This imbalance made it near impossible for us to ever be a functioning couple or team as the inadequacy felt led to deception and then to a complete falling away.
Know your worth! Know that you are God's precious soul and daughter and he wants you to come back to him a queen.  So don't look for someone who just makes you happy or makes you feel loved.  Look for someone who can reach your bar.  Look for someone who can lead you into the kingdom of God to be crowned a king with you, a beautiful queen on his arm.  Never doubt your beauty: physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.  You are you.  You are beautiful and you deserve only the best.  Do not make my mistake of contentment.  Know what you are.  Know what you want and never deviate.  Don't lower your bar.  If you are faithful, someday someone worthy will be able to reach it.