Lost

Last night was a disappointment.  I had been leaning towards staying as I saw he was clearly doing all that he knew how to try and put me first, but last night that was not the case.  I shouldn’t be hurt as this has happened time and time again, but I don’t understand it.  If I had done something to make my souse want to leave me I would do EVERYTHING in the world possible to try and convince them I am sorry and to stay with me. Wouldn’t you go above and beyond?  Wouldn’t you give 200%?  I thought I would have an answer today as to whether I was for sure leaving Monday or not and as of right now I really feel like it could go either way, and now I am honestly more set on leaving Monday now as I feel three days of dedication to me were too much.  I really am not asking for that much and if he did the simple tasks of reading my blog in trying to get to know me, he would know what I need (although I have shared all of this with him a million times before).  Look at me up and down, back and forth.  Yesterday I was gaining hope and today I am losing it.