Feeling a Need to Start Over

I feel as if my life has been in a limbo since March as we have struggled to find Josh the help that he needs.  Due to the situation I feel a lot of my life has been very dependent on his choices.  Seeing as we have only recently found someone who has been able to help him, both Josh and our relationship have been stagnant as we tried to just survive the days.  With all this in mind Josh just found out he has 40 days left to re-enlist.  As of right now Josh is a 94E a MOS (job) that will not allow people to rank up due to the high amount of people in the MOS at the moment.  When Josh re-enlists he has two options.  He can pick and new MOS and go through training all over again and then be moved wherever he is needed or he can extend his contract and stay in the MOS he has, which will also allow us to stay here for the next three years. 

Here is the predicament.  If Josh stays in the MOS he has, he will continue to be a 94E (a job he hardly gets to do anyway) and will be stuck at the E4 pay grade which is a whopping 30,000 a year (so as you can see, not much at all and yes that includes Base Allowance Housing) We are blessed that at the moment we don’t have any real debt, but even with that blessing it is hard to make that money stretch to buy all the things we need, especially as we are still trying to replace a lot of items we lost in the fire.  With a second child on the way this pay grade for the next three years just seems unacceptable for me when he could be working towards a higher rank in a different MOS.  However, the opportunity to stay here would give Josh the additional time and resources he needs to work through the PTSD and depression he is dealing with at the moment that might not be available if we are moved somewhere else.  Plus here in Clarksville I have friends and family close to help support me.

If Josh were to pick a new MOS he could pick one that had low points, allowing him to rank up quickly.  There is the risk he will not enjoy his job as much though.  This also sets us up to be at the Army’s mercy as they decide when he goes to AIT and where we would then be moved afterwards.  As you know I am due in nine weeks and would rather not have to pack up and move within a month of giving birth, but that is a very good possibility if we choose this option.  However, I feel a move and a change of scenery will force us both to rely on each other and less on the people around us giving us an opportunity to grow a little closer.  I feel it might also be the change that Josh needs as he will no longer be associated with the same people and therefore forced to start over, which always causes a person to have a little more self reflection and judgment as they introduce who they are to new colleagues.  I guess I am just ready for a chance to start over and hopefully advance our relationship and his career that lately I have been dreading the thought of staying here another three years despite all the pros it offers and at the moment I am having a hard time separating my own feeling from inspiration, making this decision very difficult. 

As of right now Josh is inclined to extend and stay and I am feeling the need to re-class and move.  We are running out of time and as always, I am feeling very lost in knowing how to make this choice.  I wish I knew what to do, but in reality neither Josh nor I know what he needs most.  Please keep us in your prayers as once again we are forced to face another life altering decision that will weigh greatly on our lives.