Rejection

I don’t take rejection easily.  I don’t many people who do, well other than those people always trying to sell satellite service in Wal-Mart.  I feel more often than not , I take things as rejection that were not intended to be a rejection, but if that’s how I feel, does it belittle those emotions?  I guess I am being a little cryptic, so let me give an example.  As you all know Josh and I are struggling with our marriage as Josh struggles to decide who he is, who he wants to be and overall what he wants in his life.  Josh suffers from post traumatic stress and severe depression which gives him a lot of highs and lows.  I have pretty much come to expect my position on his priority list to be low during these lows as he is self absorbed and self destructive.  Due to my low statues during these periods I feel I deserve to take some sort of priority when he is doing better, and when that isn’t the case, it is very hard not to take it personally.  Due to the medication Josh is on we are not intimate often, and when we are I feel like it exposes the raw emotions, that I am learning to deal with as best I can to start working on forgiveness as I wait until Josh is in a stable place to work through them.  I think a large part of the raw emotions during intimacy is the vulnerability that you allow yourself to become while opening up to your partner.  This morning was once such instance for us, but we were cut short by the alarm clock.  Of course I can accept this as my husband goes to work to provide for our family.  However, after getting up myself this morning I noticed that my husband had been playing his video games before he left for work.  This is where I felt utterly rejected.  After the intimacy we shared, that was cut short why did he not chose to come and cuddle or talk with me?  Why was it that once again something else took priority?  I know this was not intended to be a rejection, but isn’t that what it was?  Of course when he returned home I brought it to his attention and told him how it made me feel and he apologized, but how many times do we have to repeat similar situations before he actually realizes what it is he is doing to me.  It’s getting hard because it is to the point where every time I feel rejected I have a desire to pull away myself and I am trying to fight that urge with everything I have because at the moment I feel like I am the only one holding this family and this relationship together; so I guess the question is: how do I get past the rejection?