So either I am in a slump, feeling low, or both because as
of right now I have no inspiration to work on my story. Maybe because my husband still hasn’t read
everything I have posted and if I want anyone to read it, it is him. Maybe it is because I am on a chapter that is
bringing back emotions that I rather not relive. Maybe it’s just because I rely too much on
other people’s reinforcement that I don’t have the drive I need to chug through
and do this myself.
After
writing that last paragraph I laughed as I realized that once again I am trying
to analyze myself (which is a very common thing for me), which I attribute to
my mother. You see my mother is a
psychologist. Because of her background
she always taught us to always be aware of our emotions and that of others so
that we could understand why we do what we do.
Also, by knowing where we are, we can better communicate our needs,
hurt, desire, etc to others. My mom had
certain catch phrases to drill these lessons into our head, and I remember
cringing every time I heard the same thing over and over. That is until I hit adulthood and somehow I
found myself capable of expressing myself better than my peers. I found communication an easy task as I had
been taught the tools my whole life. I
found that these annoying catch phrases actually taught me to be a very capable
human being.
I am so
very grateful for these lessons my mother taught me as I now find myself best
through my writing, and although my mom never gave me writing lessons, she is
the one who taught me to be open and okay with myself. However, on nights like tonight where my
thoughts and emotions spin in a gyre until they reach a point of climax; these
lessons only seem to intensify the storm as I sit here reflecting on minute
things that make no difference. I know,
I am getting cryptic again, so let’s just say despite all this verbal vomit, my
goal is to have chapter fourteen finished by Wednesday. Hope to see your comments when I post then J
You being able to communicate so well is one if the things I love most about your writings. I appreciate how well you put into words things that I can relate to but not articulate. I love how you remember the details of your past so easily, as I remember very little of my past. I hope you can get up the gumption you need to get through the next hard chapters. As a reader and a friend, I like your vulnerability that you unashamedly put out there. It's a quality that I feel I have lost through the years of not getting positive reinforcements or any words of affirmation at all. I wish I didn't let others affect how I feel so much.
ReplyDeleteLove, Laura
Thanks Laura, your response validated my need and it's funny how somehting so simple is just what we need. I also really appreciate that you are respectful and aware of the vulnerable state my writing allows me to be as that shows you get exactly what I am writing about. Know that I think you are amazing and I hope that you get the validation you need as well. As for my story I was able to finish one more chapter and plan on posting it tomorrow! :)
DeleteThank you, and I'm glad I could help. It really is the little things in life, I know! Looking forward to your next chapter. :) Laura
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