Commitment list

Obviously Josh and I have had several ups and downs and have been all over the place as Josh struggles to find out who he is and what he wants.  The other day we came up with a solution we were both happy with.  However moods have been all over the place resulting in several changes of mind that I felt a commitment list would be a good idea.  Both Josh and I plan on making a list of what we commit to do both short term and long term in our relationship.  This way when either one of us is doing bad and the spouse feels expectations aren’t being met there is no room for nagging, we can just bring out our commitment lists so we can do a self evaluation of where we are and what we have committed to trying to be.

For example, I commit to be faithful and understanding to Josh as he begins his counseling.  I commit to having an open mind and commit to be honest about all my worries and anxieties regarding his behavior and experiences.  I commit to always putting our children first that they will never have a need I cannot meet or an unwilling to meet.  I commit to be more expressive in my love to give Josh the encouragement he needs as we go through our trying times.  These are only a couple that I committed to, but serve as an example of what I expect out of myself and what Josh should expect from me.

Josh and I sat down and took the time to make out our list and then we took turned reading a commitment to each other.  At the end of the list we asked if there was anything the other spouse thought should be added.  This was a very intimate exercise and something I am very glad we did.  We put the lists in a safe place where we both know where they are at so that if we feel one or the other isn’t meeting their commitments all we have to do is ask for a re-evaluation so we can sit down and go over the list again.  This is a great exercise for those visual people (ie me and josh) and I am so thankful for this idea that was given to me by my dad.