So it begins

Yesterday Josh and I took his name off the bank account we had here in Colorado.  It’s really weird now that the process has begun.  Whenever he talks about the future it is in preparation for our lives being separated.  I guess deep down, despite all the hurt I am still hoping he will change his mind again.  I am hoping he will see the Army can’t give him what his family does, but as of yet he still wants to continue in the path he has chosen and I wish I could support him, but after all we have been through I know what feels right and what feel wrong.  I just wish that wasn’t the case.  I really do not blame the Army for our failed marriage as there are many points to this split.  However, since being an Army wife I have learned how the Army works and treats their soldiers and it has only been one disappointment after another.  I know today (the 4^th) isn’t about celebrating the institutions per say, but today its hard feeling those feelings of honor and pride when I feel this institution has done nothing but harmed our relationship.  I still respect and honor the people that serve because such service really is a sacrifice, I just wish I had that same love of country and freedom, but right now I feel as if I have very little freedom of choice at all.  I know, I just need to put things in perspective and focus on what is important rather than focusing on the negative, so on that note: Happy Birthday to my sweet little sister and Happy fourth to all.  Be safe and celebrate the freedoms in this country that we have.