Finally…Progress!

              I have nothing but positive things to say! After calling and making an appointment for Josh at the end of August with the psychologist I wanted, she got him in due to a cancelation just three days after my initial call.  I went to the first appointment with Josh and his recommendation so that I could better vocalize some of things that were plaguing us.  I was so impressed with the doctor (because that is easier than writing psychologist every other word).  She was very good at explaining to Josh how she ran sessions, what she was there for, even down to the notes she took, making sure he felt comfortable and at ease with her and the therapeutic environment.  She made sure to reassure him that she would not share any of his information, not even with me unless he expressed otherwise.  Because we are doing the counseling the way that we are she is not obligated to repot his progress to anyone, making the only stipulation if he was a threat to national security. 

              She then asked what she could do to help Josh and he answered that he needed help with some behaviors that were bothering him and our marriage.  She asked Josh what the behaviors were he needed help with and after about two Josh went blank.  She then asked for my input and I was able to fill in the gaps Josh had forgotten.  He later said that he was grateful that I was there to fill in the blank spaces because they were all things he wanted to work on but had be unable to think of in the moment.  She was very good about voicing back what she thought Josh was saying to make sure she clarified just what he was feeling and where he was at.  She validated his feelings and addressed my concerns and I was so surprised at how open Josh was being as it took me years to get to that same level of openness and intimacy.  It made me happy that in just a short period of time the issues that have been plaguing us for months were finally being addressed!  She was so great at reassuring Josh that his feeling were not abnormal for the things he has been through, while explaining what he what he was communicating to me in a way that I understood.  She was confident and reassuring that everything he struggled with was something they could work through together.  It was the most hope I have felt in months.

After the session I was curious to see what Josh thought of the experience and he admitted to being shaken up because never before had he been that open with someone and the thought of that openness and vulnerability scared him.  I showed him that although it was a very scary process the fact that he could open up to her showed that she was a good match for him.  I asked how it compared to his experiences with the doctors on post and he said they were very different.   On post as soon as they found out he didn’t intend to kill himself or someone else, they were not concerned with him unless it affected his job.  He then continued to say that he felt like he could see how meeting with this doctor could be helpful.  This made my heart swell to hear his words because we are finally moving in the right direction to get him the help he needs.  Josh has an appointment with her every week for the next four weeks and I couldn’t be more excited for this answer to my prayer.  Both she and Josh mentioned that I was welcome to the appointments whenever Josh felt he wanted or needed me there and I so happy that I can be included and a support when I an needed.  I am now once again excited for what the future has to offer!